I believe you may have caught me in a particularly emotional moment in my life, but I would like to say I am sorry.
I am sorry I pretended you didn't exist for year. And everytime you would talk I would look past you, and say "What was that annoying buzzing sound?"
I am sorry that I made you drink massive amounts of alcohol for me to acknowledge you. It was a bad claste system I set up.
I am sorry I can never remember your ex-girlfriend's name. It belittles your relationship. Is it Jenna?
I am sorry that I destroyed yourself esteem.
I am sorry that I burned you.
I am sorry that my friends repeatedly hit your head against the ceiling, on multiple occasions.
I am sorry that I said that stuff in front of your mom to make her like me so much.
I am sorry for all those times I called you gay behind your back.
I am sorry that I forced you to take me to your fraternity formal. Although, admittedly, we were awesome that night.
However, Chris Singel, you turned into a very funny courageous person that I may or may not want to hang out with sober. And before I did all those mean things to you, I voted you into receSs. And I am not sorry about that.
You are an idiot to move to Chicago.
Smooches and ill will,