i <3 gilmore gurlz

Riddles for commenter

2010-01-03T13:21:00.000-05:00

Riddles:

There is a dead man in a room with 53 bicycles. How did he die?

A man walks into a restaraunt and orders Albatross. He takes one bite, goes outside and kills himself. Why?

A man walks into his building and presses the button for his floor in the elevator. He immediately knows his wife is dead. How?

Now chickies, I am in Colorado so updating will be hard. But leave answers in the comments and I'll be checking in.

2009-12-30T14:55:00.002-05:00

Cat wishes I would just go back to work already.

Please take a tour of my bedroom...

2009-12-29T20:33:00.000-05:00

Here is a tour of my bedroom at my parent's house. Take a look, and let me know if you see a pattern or theme.

Here is my bed, and my feature wall, or focus wall, or special wall:

Here is the border and some paintings:

Here are some cute trinkets:

And, the bathroom:

And of course, the icing on the cake:

My hand is huge! And, remember it's easier to buy gifts when people stick to their themes!

Oooooh you guys!

2009-12-22T12:01:00.000-05:00

My little brother had his tonsils out last Friday.

And yesterday Dad wanted to make him some scrambled eggs. But he didn't know how. So, he looked it up in the Joy of Cooking.

How adorable is that?

Airport Bathrooms

2009-12-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

I spent a lot of hours in airports yesterday. Twitter has the full feed.

But, it's the worst when you go into a bathroom and think "this one even I won't sit down on." And then there are none of those paper seat cover dealios left. And your suspicions of it being gross, are immediately confirmed because everyone has had the same thought already.

So then you are left to hover.

Oh Yennifur!

2009-12-18T13:02:00.001-05:00

Jennifer: also, i just found food in the cuff of my pants?

Closed

2009-12-18T12:42:00.000-05:00

Today is the last day at my current job. Soon to be un-current, or past tensed job.

I have been working on one documentary television show since May. And now it's over.

While it was super hard and sometimes I hated it. I feel really proud to have done it. I did some cool stuff, and a lot of stupid shit, like get ice for the cooler.

But overall, I feel kind of successful putting this show behind me. And let me tell you, throwing shit out from your desk feels so incredibly good. Like the last day of school before summer break. Except it's winter time, and freezing outside.

I keep typing swear words, and then deleting them because I am trying to write all nice and shit.

Things to know for The (Inevitable) Future

2009-12-17T15:17:00.001-05:00

Bourbon, followed by cheap beer, followed by falafel is not good for a Wednesday night.

Let me explain. First, I drank bourbon, and then I drank cheap beer, and then I did what can best be descried as "housed" a falafel sandwich smothered in hummus.

This is bad to do on a Wednesday night for the folling reasons:

1. You must get up and go to work the next day. That's hard to do after consuming large quantities of alcohol.

2. No amount of teeth brushing or really whole mouth brushing can get rid of your hummus scented breath.

3. The odor that is emitted by your rear end will be so toxic, that you will have to take "walks" around the office floor to try and disguise where the scent is coming from.

4. While doing very little at work, you will hear a song on a 30 Rock mash-up. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMKrAR6YBDI&feature=related) And you will be like, "hey, i kind of like that song." and when you google the lyrics you will discover its a FERGIE SONG.

In conclusion, I made some choices last night that has made today harder to live. But I would most def do it again.

Put some cheese on it.

2009-12-10T11:01:00.000-05:00

This morning I tired to make a tasty hole-in-one treat. Which is a piece of bread and an egg in the center.

I say tried because things did not go well. Apparently, some sort of non-stick spray was needed. It turned into more of a bread and egg scramble.

But I simply sprinkled some cheese on it, and all was well. So I thought I would share with you some other quick recipes that can be remedied with cheese.

Asian Stir Fry
- Add vegetables to frying pan
- Add soy sauce to frying pan
- Add peanut oil to frying pan
- Add hot sauce seasoning
- Get absorbed in America's Funniest Home Videos
- Completely over cook all the vegetables
- Sprinkle some bleu cheese on dish
- Eat

Chocolate Cake
- Follow directions on box
- Get completely absorbed in YouTube video of kitten playing peek-a-boo
- Burn cake
- Cut off burned spots
- Sprinkle swiss cheese on cake
- Put on icing
- If you are feeling extra naughty, sprinkle additional cheese on top of frosting
- Indulge

Cheese Left Out of Fridge
- Take some cheese out of fridge for snack
- Leave on counter
- Take a nap, or better yet, leave house
- Come back to find hardened block of cheese
- Take out spreadable and or sprayable cheese
- Spread on hardened cheese
- Consume double cheese sandwich

Mythical Newsroom Love

2009-11-18T16:11:00.002-05:00

These emails starts at 3:19 pm today and go until 3:59 pm:

3:19

from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
unicorn, or aparna, didn't one of you friends take pictures during our show? i thought i heard someone say they had.

can we see them, if answer is yes.

also, i had such a lame rehearsal yesterday. where everything you do feels forced, and everyone else is being funny. i had that, and it is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

3:21
from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom
oh gawd. that's how i've felt for like the last 2 months of improv minus all the mythical shows. WHAT DOES THAT SAY!?!

i'm just going to fake it till i make it. karin L. hammberrger you are a star, and donchoo forgot it!!!

3:23
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
i am going to write some really cryptic things on our website.

like if heaven is playing with mythical newsroom i am just going to kill myself now.

3:24
from: jenny
to: mythical newsroom
Dont do that!!! Just play with mythical here on earth instead!

3:29
from: unicorn
to: mythical newsroom

My friend Nate took a few. I'll try to get them from him. Karin, you rule the world! You are a princess of improv!

PS. I booked my first commercial on Tuesday. It's non union for kashi and shoots tomorrow. I hope I make the final edit. We'll see...

3:31
from: karin
to: mythica newsroom
UNICORN!!! that is so exciting!!! congratulations!!! now remember if they are like:

we really need three other adorable girls, we are here.

but seriously, congrats!!! make that money, honey buns!

3:31
from: jenny
to: mythical newsroom
YAY! 7 whole grains on a mission!! Congratulations

3:32
from: unicorn

to: mythical newsroom
Also we all have slumps. When we feel like we've plateaued. But then that ends and you surge ahead! Don't fret. It's just a phase. It's there a blog or article Witth this graph.? Dan linked it in his wit interview about his magnet victory.

3:35
from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom
UNICORN CONGRATULATIONS THAT IS HEEEEYOOOGE. Make sure they don't put you in a factory and make you wear a hairnet. Tell them you look best in diva garb.Oh wait I'm thinking of Honey Bunches of Oats. Kashi knows what they're doing. Carry on! Tell them you have a cinnamon sugar blender! (Is that how you got it?)

3:34

from: unicorn
to: mythical newsroom
I know I'm really psyched. We have to work out though. But I'm a "college girl" and I think we just walk. Other people do boot camp. I was happy I was a college girl, also for my ego.

3:37
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
AH! i am seriously, so excited for you.

i am going to lose 25 lbs and move to new york with you and do commercials.

those are all my life goals:
lose 25 lbs
move to new york
do commercials

nothing more and nothing less.

3:38
from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom
Pssssh one day you're going to get cast as the leading baby in a huge A-list movie and your head is going to explode from the joy!!!

3:39
from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom
karin, are you relaly going to move to new york!

3:38 (yep, back in time)

from: unicorn
to: mythical newsroom
Lol, no. Got that myself. I don't speak unless they do some improv. The audition was all improv. They'll just show different types of people working out in central park and trying to be fit. Hope I get to eat a kashi bar-- more of a chance I'll make the cut. It's non union so not ridiculous amounts of money but still a lot. I get more if I make cut and that would be 2 months rent! So I'm hoping like crazy I do.

3:40
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
you will make cut!!! your beautiful!

3:40
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
you're

3:40
from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom
yeah seriously i would buy loads of kashi if you were in the commercial

3:42
from: jenny
to: mythical newsroom
I am going to write Kashi a letter right now demanding more red heads in their commercials. That should do the trick!

No one is going anywhere! i just got facebook and that's all the change i can take for a year.

3:42

from: unicorn
to: mythica newsroom
Commercials are digging real looking people now. Not all, but a good amt. And if you moved to NYC you'd make a Harold team like that with Emily and start writing for late night with Jimmy falom or something. You'd be a great producer for that show too.

3:45
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
ooooh, unicorn!!! you are the best.

i feel like publishing our emails, which are just full on compliments.

i, too, will write kashi about more redheads, and then send them a picture of yennifur, so you two can do it together.

3:44 (yep back in time, again)
from: unicorn
to: mythical newsroom
I just blushed. There are 2 college girls and were the only people cast who are in their 20s. One guy. So if they cut us they are making a major marketing mistake

3:47

from: aparna
to:mythical newsroom
yeah seriously you guys are the demo for the cereal!

3:51
from: jenny
to: mythical newsroom
I hope they give you the oatmeal raisin kasi bar. Thems is tasty.

Side note: i wish there was a way to chew quieter. I feel very self-conscious about my crunching right now.

3:55
from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
close your mouth.

3:55

from: karin
to: mythical newsroom
i am going to put these email up on my blog.

3:56

from: aparna
to: mythical newsroom

NOT ALL OF THEM, right?! i am going to get a coffee and sing to myself!

3:57

from: jenny

to: mythical newsroom

hahha, please at least publish that last one...

3:59

from: unicorn

to: mythical newsroom

Hahaha! We're like the feelgood gang.

Now, tell us we are the best.

This won't make sense to most of you...

2009-12-01T15:17:00.001-05:00

I read this website called Jezebel. It's part of the Gawker Media blog empire.

It's an awesome website. And their commenting process is closed. Meaning not everyone can comment. You have to audition to be a commenter. And since most of the thoughts I have are about poop, none of comments have ever been approved.

UNTIL LAST NIGHT. I am now a full fledged commenter, or something like that.

And I want to comment on EVERYTHING. The problem is, my thoughts are pretty much limited to poop, and jokes about poop, and SOMETIMES cute fuzzy animals. So I am forcing myself to say anything about everyting.

A story about Martha Stewart. My comment, "Martha Stewart cooks things. That will eventually come out of you as poop." Wha? That's all I know to say about her

December Vogue issue. "That stuff is expensive, you know what is cheap? H&M, also poop."

Something about Jane Austen. "Fart."

I wonder if I can get my status taken away....

2009-11-24T10:58:00.002-05:00

i just spent 45 minutes fixing my mechanical pencil. totes worth it.

Music

2009-11-20T11:09:00.000-05:00

How do you not like rap music?

Have you heard rap music? It's awesome.

But I guess that's true for any music that's done well. Like, have you heard Opera? Good Opera? It's fucking awesome.

Music is cool.

Spam

2009-11-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

This blog is getting spammed. And it's an emotional roller coaster for me.

I get really excited when I see a new email, stating that I have a new comment on my little diary of over share (did I write diary or dairy?).

BUT then I see it's someone who would just like my readers to purchase some sex drugs, or in the latest case, purchase some people to have sex with. This makes me upset that it is not a real person who thinks, "Interesting blog as for me. It would be great to read something more about this theme."

And then I realize that this spambot thinks that my blog actually has readers, and well, I get super excited again. I guess me hitting my own blog multiple times a day has tricked the internet sex machine into thinking actual people read this. I am a genius! A spam attracting genius.

Then another down turn. No one reads this.

Fashion

2009-11-16T16:32:00.000-05:00

Mythical Newsroom had a show up in THE New York City on Friday, thanks to Reverse 5, a wonderful and handsome improv group.

We had a very enjoyable time. Here is proof:

But here is my question now. Is being fashionable just wearing stupider shit than your friends would?

Because that is all New York is, right? People just wearing stupid shit on their bodies?

And today I am wearing an outfit that people keep saying looks nice. But I have a belt on the outside of my dress and sweater. That's dumb, because neither my dress nor my sweater need to be held up, thus there is no need for a belt. Yet, here I am, looking like an asshole, and other assholes complimenting me on it.

Nose and Office

2009-11-12T14:30:00.001-05:00

I am unabashedly picking my nose at my cube.

Apparently, I think that when I have my headphones on, no one can see me.

Quick update

2009-11-11T15:51:00.000-05:00

I have been sups busy at work, which is good and bad.

BUT! Really I wanted to share.

Boyfriend and I watched this awesome documentary yesterday.

King of Kong, A Fistful of Quarters

It's funny, and sad, and makes you angry. It's controversial. It's crazy good. You should watch it.

let's all be happier people

2009-11-04T10:55:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I saw two friends on U Street. One was leading the other one, who was blindfolded, to her surprise birthday party.

They were both so fucking happy.

The leading one mentioned cake on her cell phone, and the birthday girl sort of shrieked and got all giggly.

It was awesome. I am glad I got to see that.

Ask Boyfriend!

2009-11-03T15:05:00.001-05:00

Dear Boyfriend,

Does it trouble you when people can't answer their own simple questions?

Thanks,
Unconcerned

Dear Unconcerned,

Let's take a look at your ostensibly "simple" question in two parts, primarily at the assertion that people "can't answer their own simple questions." I posit that it is not because these people are realistically unable to find suitable responses within themselves, but rather that they are, by way of the act of asking, overtly sharing of themselves with the agent that they are asking. Implicit in their seeming incompetence is the cultural value placed upon human interaction and peer consensus in reaching a decision or finding truth, because an anti-social decision undermines group evolutionary fitness and "truth" is culturally relative. Does this phenomenon "trouble" me? It depends on how you define trouble. Do I end up going to the trouble of writing long-winded responses to relatively insignificant quandaries? Clearly. Am I emotionally troubled by the fact that people are somewhat dim-witted as individuals? Not in the slightest, they are my greatest ally as I seek to become the authoritative voice on all things in this world, the arbiter of knowledge and truth, and the largest spongy brain of facts atop a quivering heap of lesser brains.

Thank you,
Boyfriend

Will Power

2009-11-03T15:04:00.002-05:00

It's taking a lot of will power and endurance to not eat my lunch left overs right now.

Maybe I should put them on the floor so I don't keep looking at it.

Plus also, maybe I should fill up on some candy.

Project Dispatch

2009-11-01T15:32:00.000-05:00

Yoooooooooooooooos,

I just signed up for THIS!

It's where you subscribe to an artist for 3, 6, or 12 months. And they send you art in the mail.

WHAT?>!?!?! That's totally awesome, right? I mean getting a package is super dups exciting, but to have it be new art! I mean com'ons now, that's the best kind of mail you can get, besides that year Grams decided to give all the grandkids $1,500. Because that was also awesome mail.

But for realsy, never enough art. Never enough.

Right now we are subscribing to Elizabeth Graeber, and I think we might do Section V next.

Sweetly and as ever EXCITEDLY,
the real deal karin

Another reason I am getting old

2009-10-30T12:56:00.001-04:00

Another way I can tell I am getting old is that my parents are coming into town this weekend...

AND I AM SO EXCITED!!

Like really seriously excited to see my parents. And it's not just because they are bringing me birthday presents.

I like my parents, and I like spending time with them.

Go back 10 years and tell 16-year-old Karin that and she would have had the most sarcastic manipulative answer for you.

Something along the lines of "Oh, I am surprised my parents are even acknowledging me at 26, the way they treat me now its like I am some sort of criminal who has to "check in" when she is going somewhere and has a curfew. I thought by 26 they would have disowned me altogether."

Because I was a bitch! And insecure! And I took it out on everyone around me. But not now, well maybe I am still a little bitchy, and still super insecure, but I don't take it out on my parents any more because I am an A-DULT.

Fake Comment Friday!

2009-10-30T11:29:00.000-04:00

Fake comment friday is back!!! I am so sorry about the lapse.

Also here is a picture of Cat snuggling this morning:

Two pictures that made me tear up today

2009-10-29T15:58:00.000-04:00

Today, two pictures brought me to tears.

The first is form the New York Times story on the Obamas:

Barack and Michelle Obama in 1996. She was hesitant about his campaign but became his most energetic volunteer anyway, and she warmed everybody up — including him.

The second picture is a pumpkin that has been carved to look THE Death Star:

Life is so awesome today.

Stump the Punner!!

2009-10-29T15:52:00.001-04:00

[Sorry for the delay on this, apparently I have a real job that takes up time.]

Jello there, Jigglers! (This was cheap, and I admit that!)

This week's entry is short and sweet & sour because I'm stuck in work-life balance purgatory BUT lucky for youze guyze, I made a list of wordplays, worksheet-style. I apologize for the extremely Stretch Armstrong (he makes bracelets just like Lance...really flexible ones!) nature of this post:

On Feb. 14 this year, I'm toasting to Bobby Valentino, a British man who polices (definition 2: to make clean and put in order ) music, after my own heart!

(Interesting side note: Bobby Valentino, the American R&B artist goes by Bobby V or Bobby V-tino in the UK because there is another artist there who has been recording under the same name since 1975. Wikipedia said so! )

The McDonald's crime scene was covered in ketchup with fries buzzing all over the tender stripped chicken victims. The detective started to feel sick as he questioned the Hamburglar so he snapped, "We know you're responsible! Nugget to the point!"

I would imagine that a high-rollin' but family-oriented baller would write, "I do it for de guts & and de-lore-an also my mama but also my wunnerful, one-in-a-million girlfriend, de Laurie Ann." (Even I de-groaned loudly at dis one!)

The temperature in the room is at the Fahrenheit of blistering heat. I Smellcius something burning. Oh. It's my face. Time to read some Kelvin & Hobbes comics to get my mind off the pain and cool off.

Before he passed, Aaron Spelling named a highway after his daughter called Motori Spellway, but the DMV changed it to Motori Speedway after several Hollywood-you-please mo-tourists complained. (They also complained about this sentence.)

[Leave your challenges in the comments for next week and be prepared for results done in a touchy-feely, new-age (there is no wrong answer), time-crunchy granola way!]