Friday, August 28, 2009

Ask Boyfriend

Looks as though Boyfriend is just as bored as you are this Friday afternoon.

Question:
From Josephine

Hi Boyfriend,

How long do you think it will be before there is a sex tape involving Miley Cyrus on the interweb tubes?

- two parter -

Will Billy Ray be featured as well?


Answer:
Dear Josephine
Firstly, let me thank you for your submission. Its salacious nature is just the right amount of titillation to see a pitiable office drone through the last couple of seemingly interminable Friday hours. Secondly, I think the temporal aspect of your question is irrelevant. It matters not when such a recording is aired, much more important is the heightened level of depravity that it displays. Ms. Cyrus' shelf life must be akin to that of a punctured bladder of goat's milk mistakenly shelved in the Granola/Tofu/Nut Bar isle. That her career shall quickly leak away in a disgusting stream of putrescence contrasted against the current vogue has never been in doubt, but the thinly veiled attempt at recapturing her fame by releasing tape depicting her in an act of sexual congress must needs be on an order of magnitude more debauched than anything that has come before, if only to match the inimical awfulness of her "art" and thus propel her back to stardom. I believe that if you let your mind run amok for some moments in chewing over that last sentence you can find answer to your second inquiry. (Hint: Incestuous Scatological Finger Painting...)

Thank you,
Boyfriend
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