Ask Boyfriend!

Dear Boyfriend,

What is the best type of Halloween costume: Slutty, Scary, Funny, or Current Event?

Thanks,
Slutty Pumpkin

Dear Slutty Pumpkin,

While I am tempted simply pick one of the options you present I believe that such a response would not adequately address the veritable cornucopia of Halloween costumes out there. Truth be told, there is no best choice available in your list, rather a not so subtle blending of all four is called for to reach the apex of costuming. One such melange for the women out there could be a zombie Tina Fey as Sarah Palin wearing lingerie, perfectly mixing all four aspects into one shambling, hilarious, sexy parody of a costume that would be discussed in hushed awe around the water cooler for nigh on a generation to come. For men not averse to airing out their junk perhaps a Mark Sanford look, replete with Argentina flag thong, southern twang and politico-wife with some semblance of a backbone. For those of you doubting the horror involved in this costume, please acquaint yourself with the fine pelt of hair decorating the average man's buttocks.

Thank you,
Boyfriend