ouchie.

emmy and i did a set yesterday to an audience made of stone with an ice covering last night. we did our whole set though. we powered through. i don't think i am really hitting it off with the dc comedy community though. yesterday i was reading someone's blog, who happens to be someone i think is super funny, and he wrote something really mean about me. he didn't say my name or anything, but i knew it was me. and i was at work when i read it, and my face got all hot and i bet i was bright red.

and then i think i was weird to some more comics last night, and because of that blog i am hyper-aware of what i say. i don't know what i am doing wrong people usually like me.

ok. i need to shake it off. my friend shanna just got a puppy. when i get off work i am going to go play with the puppy and sob silently as it licks my salty tears. and then i will probably drink heavily to the point where i think i am invincable. and then get more emotional than ever. and then wake up the next morning on the couch with melted ice cream all over me. and then i will get up and obsess over being fat for about an hour. and then sleep the rest of the day. and then wake up and spend two hours straightening my hair and go out and get even drunker. that'll show everyone how likable i am. being insecure is 2% funny and 98% awkward for everyone to hear. and 100% of me knows i should stop but 100% of me also thinks that if i take this far enough it may get up to 5% funny.

you know what makes every salad better? cheese.