Thursday, June 07, 2007

I am the politest hungover person ever

Ok, first, I am hungover with tinges of still being drunk. Thank you to JP for a wonderful portebella dinner. Not thank you to Sir Jeff who thought we should all go to the bar. And not thank to you to my low self esteem that let's me be swayed by peer pressure.

But as it turns out I am so polite. I said yes, please over and over to the man who made my omelette. And I said thank you to the cashier when she took my credit card, when she gave back my credit card, when she handed me the slip to sign, when she handed me the pen, and when she took my receipt back. That's five thank you's in a twenty second interaction. And when I left I was surprised with myself. Like, wow, I was just super polite.

I am even capitalizing properly. And using punctuation (properly or not, it's fucking there).

What if I drank myself into another personality? Like I was so drunk and awful, that my body has just fucking had it. All the organs gathered and collectively decided that things can't continue like they have. Liver clearly has a fantastic argument. But even Shins are like, "We get beat up all the time. Remember when she ran us into the coffee table really hard? We were bruised for a month!" And arms are like, "Forget that shit, remeber when she made that lighter really hot and then held it against her arm for 'Snake Eyes'? Chick intentionally burned herself because she thought it was cool. We still have that fucking scar." And Feet are like, "Hold the fuck up. We seriously get the shit kicked out of us." And then Shoulders, and Knees, and Teeth all jump in and before you know it they are all appealing to Brain. Pleading with Brain for a new personality.

And now I am really polite.

I am sorry for all the typos in this blog.

(Oh my god! I am so fucking polite!)
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Anonymous josh said...

Oyster pie! Hangovers! Not thank you to my thirst: beer pressure that let's me be swayed by peer pressure!

2:07 PM  

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