Thursday, September 24, 2009


Greetings Hallmark Evites,
Hark close with your hawrk eyes. Ima let you finish whatev's it was you was doing that was not as importante than this so lemme just say dis(s):
It's Miller high time to couple up every last bit of sass in my body and board it up on Noah's Snark, and send it sailing with a sharp pat on the Biblical bum through the maelstrom of opinions known as the Internet back to the Free but Fascist World of Anonymous Commenting (cruise shipping & handling fees sincluded).

I'll preach it loud and proud, you guys fo really brought it this week! Hallelu-yeah you did! It was a too blessed to be stressed kick in the miraculo (bilinguality, whaaaat).

All y'all delivered hot, fast, and strong on the toppings for me to whip up some verbal DeGiorno(-you-din't-just-do-
some-blatant-product-placement-four-times-so-close-yet-so-far) pizzas, Chicahgo deep delish-style. I went de-seriously crazy for all of 'em.

You sharpooned my heart with your razor quips & submission statements, land blubber though I may be.

Aw and B4 I gaw, Here's what I gotta say about the freakonomy. The financial state of things is a Predator (the original), with some additional (as opposed to subtractional) versa-style skillz such as a bomb-nivorous diet (South Beach, Grapefruit, Atkins, any and all stomach explosions/ulcers/Pepto Dismal effects caused by stress), an Uzi-quitous life-ruining ability (think dangerous, unbridled, paranoia-inducing everywhere at once but generally discreditable, i.e., Burmese juntabloids or TMZ), and the raw exposed tendon-cy to foreclose
for the day right when you were craving a settlement sandwich on the house and a soda pop pop Snapple cap in the butt of the brain fun fact.

Happily however after though, things will look Up (in the manner of a wise Pixar film for all ages) and at 'em soon enough, but in the nicetime, play gentle and worsh yer hands and hand-me-downs. Make the flu come down with you before you come down with it; I'm totally vaccerious.

Adieu and P U (Who just posted a fart instead of a comment!?!),


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Anonymous Christmas Carol said...

Challenge: auspicious and delicious

You're a pun master!!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Akon Watson said...

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7:10 AM  

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