Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ask Boyfriend #3

 Dear Boyfriend,

Could ninjas win the war in Afghanistan?


Dear Anonymous,

I shall endeavor to break down your question into two parts. First, do ninjas posses talents that would allow them to "win" the war in Afghanistan? Ninjas would be entirely suitable for covert military action against the insurgents, seeing as how they were, by all accounts, extremely skilled at unorthodox military warfare, including but not limited to assassination of opposing leaders. The one problem would be the logistical nightmare of mustering a group of 15th century Japanese mercenaries, not to mention being able to round up enough Shichusen to satisfy their exorbitant fees.

Secondly, and this is a question that is implicitly raised by your first, should we, the member nations of Operation Enduring Freedom, employ ninjas as means to end the war? As we vainly attempt to sweep away the refuse of W's reign of terror, we should probably not employ what was widely viewed as a terrorist group in our war emotive nouns, although the Blackwater folks probably do style themselves as modern-day ninjas.

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