Thursday, September 10, 2009

STUMP THE PUNNER!!!

**submitted words from last week are the BOLD (& the BEAUTIFUL) in this week's entry**

Dear Reading Rain-bros and Sissy-Boom-Bahs (We're all in the family now!),

Thank youze all so berry berry* kindly for responding to my inaugurallying cry for help of a post. I sinceriously appreciated the four blind anonymice** cammants, as well as the three cammants proudly waving their shapely name tails, all seven squeakers united by their synonymouse content on MY FIRST POST (to jog, or let's be honest, powerwalk your memories a bit).

In briefcase anybuddy was trying to challenge my smelly feats of word-wrangling strength, well, just know that this isn't work for me! (I never filled out my I-9 so just W-4get about it!) It's a Kit Kat break and then some. Bar none. Speaking of bars...

Happy is the hour in which I get to sit and make punny online just by filling out surveys I wrote myself. Too bad punny doesn't put drink specials and half-off jalapeño poppers on the table. Though it does pay for wink specials and a quarter-off self-esteem dip with chips-on-shoulders.

But I am the grande nachos-en one, and I accept my dark horse role with a glorious shimmy in front of every stoneface I might encounter! What a Gorgon-tuan ordeal, some might rasp, but I simply say: "Lend me your corn ears and your potato eyes, and we'll take a syllabic swim in the wordy waters! Don't be scared. No loan sharks will bite off your ears at a bumped up disinterest rate and no pool sharks will take their cues to jab you in the eyes."

We might have a grand ol' time though. Some might even call it a dimplecrime, we'll smile so much. We'll end up doing hard candy time in Jawbreaker Jail after being tried Nutrasweetly (artificial kindness = the worst!!) by the Peppermint Police. I think that's unfair warning enough.

See you later, alligatourists. In a croco-while! I've run out of patience and into impatience, y'see!

Shank You Very Moochily,

Jolly Rancherla (now with bubbles!)

*That's one grateful raspberry and one most appreciative strawberry.

**The fourth blind mouse was the lesser known brother, watch the E! True Nurseryhood Story to get the stinky cheesy deets.

[Ed Note: Leave your stumper words in the comments for next week.]
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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Death panels.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Flash Hardcore said...

dylithium crystals. obvi.

9:34 AM  

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