Friday, April 06, 2007

Boyfriend Guest Blog

Thank you, thank you. Glad to be here. Briefly allow me to paint a verbose picture of last night's Easter egg debacle. You come in from smoking a cigarette (yes, unrepentant). There are chairs strewn about the house, and what's left of the Easter ham is hanging from the ceiling fan. You're first instinct is to break a bottle and go after the first person you see. This is a gut level reaction to what you perceive as the end of times, visited upon the earth at presumably the exact minute of the resurrection, clearly debunking the notion of the savior's magnanimity in face of betrayal and horrible death. The son of god is coming and he is, for lack of a better word, pissed. This perception passes. A revelation: you are now faced with what is clearly the result of Girlfriend's passion for both childhood holiday fun and the sauce, coupled with willing conspirators bent on jelly beans and havoc. Your epiphany is complete when you witness one of the aforementioned conspirators Judas-ly flipping over the chair in which Girlfriend is seated. The chair ends up on top of her limp form. This, apparently, heralds the end of merry-making. The rest of the evening, at least for yourself and Girlfriend, is consigned to cleaning up the debris. Now to the crux of this guest blog. On the long, cold, contemplative walk home you are faced with yet another revelation, this one infinitely more epic and of great cosmic import. The second coming draws nigh. Super Paper Mario is to be released for the Wii on the 9 th, harkening back to the blissful platforming days of yore with a touch of the RPG for your now refined gaming pallet. This thought consoles you on the walk. Images of a plump Italian plumber run on, and on, and on in your head, not unlike this blog and indeed many of the sentences in it.
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