Friday, April 06, 2007

Easter Egg Hunt

Last night, Sir Jeff, created an Easter Egg Hunt. I had a very specific stratgey called, "Bratty."

-First you start by hearing the news that there's an Easter Egg Hunt. And then you immediately start looking for eggs, even if you are asked politely to stop.

- Then you continue to look for eggs, "slyly." While everyone in the room sort of begs you to stop.

- Then everyone drinks more wine.

- Then you begin finding eggs and scouting locations. People will start to get super annoyed with you. In fact, Boyfriend will physically restrain you from moving for a while. Good thing Boyfriend smokes cigarettes and has to go outside a lot.

- More wine.

-Then you flat out start collecting eggs.

- Then you make a deal with the devil aka JW because you need a place to stash the eggs before the actual Hunt begins. You promise him the prize if he will hide your eggs. He will eat the candy out of the eggs and do a so-so job of hiding them.

- Someone will discover your hidden stash and call you a cheater. JW will have already gotten his candy fix and will not defend your eggs.

- You will pout.

-Wine again.

-The Hunt will begin and in your rage of having been discovered as a cheater you tear apart the house. You will turn over chairs and tear out couch cushions. You will throw things at people and crawl under the table. Keep in mind you are 23 years old.

- Your bad behavior spurns others to behave even worse. This is key because then you start to look like the good one.

- You will feel bad and start to pick up all the jelly beans you threw at people. And you will half put some stuff back. (Note: Boyfriend will do most of the clean up if you move slow enough.)

- Jeff will then just give you the rest of the eggs including the one with the dollar in it. And he will give you the prize of jelly beans in the shape of a carrot. YOU HAVE WON.

- Then you will go to work the next day and have one of the most unproductive days of your life.
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