Friday, April 06, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Warm Days leading in polls

WASHINGTON, DC- There is almost an unanimous vote in the polls this morning that DC residents prefer warm days over cold days. Meterologist Patrick Swensen says he's not surprised, "People usually like warm days because the sun is out and they don't have to wear as many layers." DC resident and tax paying citizen, although not represented in the Senate or the House, Lindsey Dole says that she prefers Warm Days because then its not so cold out. "I don't know," says Lindsay, " it is just, like, nicer out when its warm, ya know? Like it's not cold, but warm, so it's nice." Swensen replied, "Well, it's a high pressure front moving in and replacing a low pressure area that can sometimes create percipitation, how....." Lindsy interjected "Yeah, I don't really give a shit about any of that, ya know? Like I don't understand what you are saying but it's not warm today, so I am kinda pissed. I think I will take it out on the guy who sits in the cube next to me." Which seems to be the consensus here in Washington.
Although, there is one man still holding out for Cold Days, Gene Grenger. Gene also lives in Washington, DC, but he unlike most of the other residents thinks Cold Days are "crisp" and they "really get the blood pumping." In fact, Gene doesn't wear a coat or closed toe shoes unless it's under 30 degrees. "I like the challenge of Cold Days. Sometimes, when it's real nippy I get an iced latte and drink it outside. I get a lot of looks, but I really think I am showing Cold Days, what's up. People who don't like Cold Days are just wimps." We can only imagine what Lindsyy would say to that.
But as for now, it looks like Gene will stay the minority in Washington, DC. Because as more and more people file into my office half an hour late all they have to say is "It's so cold out there. I am freezing. I can't believe how cold it is. Are you cold? I am freeeeeeeeezing. It's so cold!" And the beat goes on.
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