Mid Mid Life Crisis

So, I am having my mid mid life crisis. Last night I dyed my hair and the best description for it is "Dried Blood." Kind of a browny red thing with a big scab on it.

Also, I am signing up for improv classes.

And I just bought a Ferrari.

And I got one ear pierced.

And I am dating at 24 year old (which is actually a year older than me, but young by most standards)

And I just sold all my stock options (what else do mid life crisis people do?)

And I want to move.

And I got a parrot.

And I am going to wear more gaudy jewelry.

And I am going to unbutton my shirt a lot.

And I think I am getting mid life crisis confused with pirates.

And I bought a boat. (Uh oh I don't think I can break the trend)

And I cut off my hand so I could have a hook, but instead of a hook I got a fake hand because they don't give out hooks any more.

And I was committed to the pysch ward because of the whole hand cutty offy thing.

And I am a ghost now.

And I buried all my valuables in the backyard (I wish, I live in an apartment that gets very little natural light not to mention there isn't any outdoor space at all.)

And I don't think I know anything more about pirates or mid life crisi.

You are really great and wonderful.

Oh. And I am kinda drunky at work.