Friday, October 17, 2008

josephine and karen hamburger's guide to making-it in your 20s

Two of the most put-together girls in DC have collaborated to bring you the ultimate guide for surviving your 20s with grace and ease:

- Drink a lot, and then when you think you should probably stop drinking, have like 5 or 6 more drinks

- Eat whatever is around you, and then regret it later

- Ride bikes

- Write "hey, sorry about last night" emails at least 3 times a week

- Write "hey, so what happened last night" emails at least 4 times a week

-No matter how badly you embarrass yourself, you are just one hot jam away from being right back on track.

-If you dont feel like you are being heard, YELL LOUDER

-There is no problem that cannot be solved through a gchat during work hours.

- You just have to make it until lunch during work, and then the rest of the day is a downhill roll until home time.
- Boys like it when you get all up in their grill. Tell them that you want to know "their deal" and stand about a 1/2 inch from their face until you are satisfied with their answer.

- If you feel bad that you couldn't finish a slice of Jumbo Slice in less than six and a half minutes, you should eat your feelings.

- If you feel like your joke didn't get the reaction is deserved, repeat it as many times as necessary.

- Never figure out the consequences of your actions.

- If you don't have any bruises, you aren't doing it right.

Sloppy is the new chic.
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Friday, October 10, 2008

Tetris and the metro

Something happened last night on the red line, which has lead me to do this:


I received this email (emails have been changed):

dateFri, Oct 10, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Tetris on the red line - w4m - 24 (Red line)

Were you playing on your iPhone?

And I totally was! And when I went to respond:

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

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Wednesday, October 08, 2008


Today I crossed the street with the help of a crossing guard. And it was wonderful. I blended in with some grade schoolers. And I must have done a good job, because she waived the whole group across the street. I was super nervous for a second that she wouldn't want to help get safely across the street because I should be old enough to have those skills. But she didn't even blink, as that white glove came up and beckoned us to move. And those kids were in uniform, none the less! And I was in jeans!

I am going to try and to use her services again tomorrow.
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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I have figured it out

I think periods make women more innately prepared and organized than men. Because we bleed out of our crotches every month and we need to have things with us, that helps keep it from being a mess and ruin our pants. And that just makes us have better foresight for other things, like making reservations, or buying mom's birthday gifts.

Also, periods explain the existence of purses.
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