Tuesday, April 21, 2009

No cable

So, since Boyfriend and I moved we don't have cable.

I will watch anything on TV. And that used to be proven through my ability to sit through a Rock of Love marathon. But now, it's proven through the fact I will sit through the world's most boringest documentary on the Queen of England on PBS.

Yes, granted two very different types of television shows, yet both equally non-important to my life. I should just be able to turn off the TV, but no, I am glued.

Who do I blame for this? Duh hickey, my parents. They never let me watch TV when I was little. So now I am addicted.

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: Let your kids watch TV otherwise they will waste their 20's indulging in pointless television programs while they could be out there doing charity work.
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Hi Katie,

I am okay with peeps spelling my name wrong. It's not the usual way to spell Karen. Fine.

But, my name is not Katie. And when my email is firstname_lastname, you should be able to pick up that my name is not Katie.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Question #5 Answered

Dear Boyfriend,

It's easy to understand that three day weekends are better than two day weekends. But is it better to take Friday off, or Monday off?


Dear Wally,

You are most certainly correct in your declaration of the superiority of weekends lasting three days as compared to those lasting two, but your question is many faceted and often rooted in temporal perception. Imagine yourself, if you will, sitting at your desk on a Tuesday around 1:45 pm when you make the decision to take a 3 day weekend. At that very moment in the work-time continuum I am willing to wager that you are inclined to take the Friday off as you are staring down the barrel of a seemingly endless week, the hammer of which has just been cocked by your insufferably upbeat boss as he or she happily plunks down a monstrous assignment on the desk of your shabby, dimly lit cubicle. While there are sometimes mitigating factors, like the schedules of friends and families, deaths of friends and families, and preposterous beer specials that for some reason fall on a Friday at 11:30 am at your local watering hole, Monday is generally a better bet. I ask you, is there any greater feeling than waking up on a Sunday and realizing that you don't have to work on Monday? Or getting blind drunk on the Lord's day while said friends and family can only look on in envy as they delicately sip their beverages and tremble with rage at the fact that they are back to the daily grind in only a matter of hours? Yes, I tell you, it can get better. You will realize when you groggily awake Monday afternoon that you have just dodged the worst possible day of the week. This is a game of worsts, and Friday, far from being the worst day of the work week is actually quite tolerable most times, whereas Monday makes you want to reach out and pull the trigger of something more substantial than my previous metaphor.

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Question #4 Answered

Dear Boyfriend,

I tried a Dubliner cheese recently with great results. Could you recommend other similar-type cheeses or just explain why Dubliner cheddar is just better?


A Little Muenster

Dear A Little Muenster,

Dubliner cheese is a hard cheddar-like cheese aged 12 months. If you are looking for similar cheeses I would recommend sharp cheddars that have been aged at least nine months and up to 18. Unfortunately, unlike other cheeses, 'cheddar' is not a name-protected variety, so anyone can make a cheese and call it cheddar regardless of their manufacturing process. If at your local store when looking at finely aged cheddar varieties you are unable to sample them, check the firmness and if at all possible the crumbliness of the cheese, as these are admirable qualities in Dubliner. Generally the longer the cheddar has been aged, the firmer and crumblier it will be.

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Question#3 Answered

Part I
Holy crap, I was randomly thinking about Wittgenstein this morning, had a question about him, and how Boyfriend must know some of his stuff pretty will, but then again this is philosophy and consequently not based on how people talk in the real world, so, maybe not. Nope, you definately know the 'Stein. So here's my question from this morning, can you explain the phrase "All the world is all that is the case." or whatever that saying of 'Steiny's is? p.s. This was all thought about before I knew of the Ask Boyfriend movement. Ludicridiculous.

Part II
Oh wait, I just read the post, is that pretty much the answer to my question?

I'm not a huge fan of the 'Stien, I'll take Kirkegaard, thank you very much.


"The world is all that is the case" is the first proposition of Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. It is basically positing that the world consists entirely of facts, rather than objects (in fact he follows it up logically with proposition 1.1 which is that 'the world is the totality of facts, not of things.'). Proposition 1 can be applied to the initial question thusly, "There is no additional and special province for the philosophical pursuit of truth of a kind different from the truth accessible to science." My earlier response should have spoken more to the Wittgensteinian model of traditional philosophical inquiry as being recursive in nature and thus nonsensical. Properly, to Wittgenstein, the initial question should have been taken as addressing the clarification of languague surrounding the concept of "the meaning of life," but this leads to a recursive logic because language clarification is used as a method of ascribing meaning or siginifigance to (x), so when x="the meaning of life" you get a recursive statement.

P.S. If you are who I think you are, you are already familiar with my penchant for semiotics so you can probably understand my fascination with Linguistic Philosophy. I can see being not a huge fan of 'the 'Stein' given he ends the Tractatus with "What we cannot speak of we must pass over in silence." Not exactly a line to inspire further inquiry into anything.


[Ed Note: I am bored.]
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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Question #2 Answered

Dear Boyfriend,

What is the meaning of life?



Dear Alaina,

For the answer to this I will have to defer to Sanford I. Berman PHD, Wittgenstein and the Logical Positivists. Specifically to Berman's work Wittgenstein and General Semantics.

The unchanging purpose of all philosophizing is to make our language clear and unambiguous; to reject as meaningless all the statements for which we can find no determinate meaning, and to make as clear and precise as we can those statements which are vague and ambiguous. Outside the properly philosophical activity of clarifying language, and the scientific activity of pursuing truth, there is no additional and special province for the philosophical pursuit of truth of a kind different from the truth accessible to science, and therefore we must reject as nonsense all the special "philosophical problems" of traditional philosophy.

In other words 'Expressed in language, the question is meaningless.'


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Question #1 Answered

Hi Boyfriend,

My question is about the water tanks/towers that are the landmarks of so many small towns and communities. Do they actually have water in them and if so, is it back-up water for the tow or some kind of engineering/pressure tool thing?

Kind regards,


Municipal water towers are quite elegantly engineered devices designed to provide water to a town or township in the event of catastrophic failure of the primary water delivery system. They hold approximately one day's worth of water for the given area and are at great height in order to deliver said water at normal pressure.


I am still accepting questions for Boyfriend!!! Seriously, he's the best ever. Take him for a spin and see for yourself.
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Monday, April 06, 2009

New Feature!!

There is going to be a new feature on "girlmore gurlz." It's called "Ask Boyfriend!" And what's super fun is that I have not cleared this feature with Boyfriend in the slightest! Surprise! Anywhoozle, how it works is that you ask questions for him in the comments. And then in a timely fashion he will give me the answers and I will post them! (Therefor, making myeslf a middle man, my DREAM job). It's so easy and FUN, and simple and GREAT, and not hard and not BORING. Here is an example from real life:

Friend: I need to order some cheese, what kind should I get? What is camembert?

Me: It's cheese.

Friend: That's useless information.

Me: I will ask Boyfriend!

Me: Hey loverman sweetiepie cutie-pa-tootie face, what camameberet? Also, we are out of toilet paper again.

Boyfriend: You mean camembert? It's a delicious creamy cheese that is similar to brie.

But your question needn't be about cheese, or food. It can be about anything! He's super smart, and VERY PATIENT. And he knows a lot about everything, history, english grammar, relationships, food, boating, fish, eating a lot at brunch, sports stuff, what the cheats are in Super Mario World, Star Wars trivia, all the words to Rock You Like a Hurricane, how to get nail polish out of a rug and make sure it never happens again, domestic violence, and ya know stuff.
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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Make Your Own Sun

I am going to write a children's book. Here is a rough draft:

"Hey little juju-bee," Says the long green catepillar, "you have such a sad little face on what's wrong?"

"Well," the little juju-bug replied, "my family was murdered."

And then the long green catepillar eats the juju-bug. First, he bites off his head, and then sucks the entrails out like spaghetti.

"Yucky, that juju-bug did not taste good at all, if I had known he would have been so gross I wouldn't have eaten him. Oh, the sun is coming out."
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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

My Friend Greggles

"I spend most of my money on booze, cigarettes and clothes. The rest I just waste"
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