Wednesday, September 27, 2006

blogging about blogging while blogging!

i dont really have much to say. i just thought of that title and wanted to write it down. i activated my macy's card today. someone brought in salt water taffy's to work and i have eaten so much that my stomach hurts and everyone at work thinks i am a pig. i found a secret bathroom at work. and i love it. and i love you.
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Monday, September 25, 2006

mr. smith

Mr. Smith who used to work on the fifth floor of the SMPA building passed away last night. This is incredibly sad. He was a really great guy. I knew him for three years. And he was always awesome. This news is really upsetting to me. And I am having a hard time thinking about anything else.

Year 1 of knowing Mr. Smith: Professor Thiel told us that Mr. Smith was her right hand man. She was really scary so I assumed he was too. This assumption was wrong.

Year 2: I saw Mr. Smith almost everyday and he never remembered my name. But he would ask me to remind him every day, and I would come back the next day sure he would have it this time. He didn't. But he was always really nice.

Year 3: Mr. Smith knew my name, and called me Ms Hammerberg. He also thought he knew what classes I was in, but did not. He was always telling me things about due dates and classroom changes which left us both confused.

The end of Year 3: Mr. Smith encouraged me to keep a camera, mic, and lighting kit at my house for an extended peroid of time. It was kind of weird, but I took as a sign that he trusted me.

I am really going to miss him. He was so incredibly great. He was such a character which was refreshing to meet at GW. He cared greatly for the students that he helped, and for the staff the worked with.
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Friday, September 22, 2006


emmy and i did a set yesterday to an audience made of stone with an ice covering last night. we did our whole set though. we powered through. i don't think i am really hitting it off with the dc comedy community though. yesterday i was reading someone's blog, who happens to be someone i think is super funny, and he wrote something really mean about me. he didn't say my name or anything, but i knew it was me. and i was at work when i read it, and my face got all hot and i bet i was bright red.

and then i think i was weird to some more comics last night, and because of that blog i am hyper-aware of what i say. i don't know what i am doing wrong people usually like me.

ok. i need to shake it off. my friend shanna just got a puppy. when i get off work i am going to go play with the puppy and sob silently as it licks my salty tears. and then i will probably drink heavily to the point where i think i am invincable. and then get more emotional than ever. and then wake up the next morning on the couch with melted ice cream all over me. and then i will get up and obsess over being fat for about an hour. and then sleep the rest of the day. and then wake up and spend two hours straightening my hair and go out and get even drunker. that'll show everyone how likable i am. being insecure is 2% funny and 98% awkward for everyone to hear. and 100% of me knows i should stop but 100% of me also thinks that if i take this far enough it may get up to 5% funny.

you know what makes every salad better? cheese.
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Thursday, September 21, 2006

alright, blogger

this is me and jesse on stage at skidmore. you can't fake chemistry like that. you can however fake chemistry like me and angelo. although i am trying to be the president of his fan club. no word yet, but i think i may be the only person in the running.

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006


ok so i have some pictures today. some of them are pretty old. i look a little fat in some of them and that's because i am a little fat. so get over it, i am. kinda. have i told you guys about my new crash diet?

ok this is me and shanner at our graduation party. i got my sunglasses at party city. shanna's are gucci.

i wore those as my regular sunglasses and would often forget i had them on. and then wonder why people looked at me funny. they were six dollars. this next one is me on stage at skidmore in a unicorn costume. one the guys from dangerbox, nyu's improv troupe took it. i have a huge crush on dangerbox.

this is a picture i doctored four years ago with "paint." its me and kurt cobain when we dated in high school. i was going to put selena's head on it. i'm super edgy, i may even make a joke about callings AIDS GRIDS in a second. watch out.

this is me vying for my dad's approval while in LA. chances are it didn't work. although he just told me the other day that he thinks The Rock is the new Duke. I guess he thinks Gridiron Gang is going to be the new Rio Grande.


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Monday, September 18, 2006

website counter=major self esteem blow

so, as it turns out not many people actually check this blog. i should have known this already. but i had some sort of false sense that it was actually really popular and my profile views were completely low balling the amount of visits. but i am coming to realize that all my fake comments to myself have really boosted that number. i truly cant figure out why i care so much. but i do. i really do. so i have just been refreshing my own blog to make the hits go up. and now i am going to leave myself some fake comments. thanks a lot everyone.
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Friday, September 15, 2006

website hit counter

so i just put a website hit counter on this page. and it was super easy. i just googled it, clicked on the first website gave my email for the service to spam constantly and got the html code. it was really really easy. i don't know the name of the thing that gave it to me, but i have gotten one hit so far, ME. everyone knows that your profile views are just linked to your comments. duh. (everyone knows cuz i figured it out). i am going to recess's first show of the year tonight. i am pretty excited. if you look on the alumni page you'll find me.

what should i tell you about today? people at work today got excited for some reason. i think someone said something about it being friday. abd everyone just got pumped up and started talking really loudly. i put my headphones on. the only problem is that i broke my old headphones and i got new ones, but they are super tight. and they hurt my ears by the end of the day. its kinda like getting a new toothbrush. i am listening to that "roller skate song" that everyone thinks janis joplin sang, but that's just a internet error. i have it as janis joplin in my itunes though.

i wish i could be a preofessional juror. i've never been a juror. but i have a feeling i would really like it. everyone always tries to get out of jury duty. i don't understand why. you dont have to go to work. you can just sit around. and theres a chance you could get put on an interesting case. all that sounds cool. i think people just try to get out of it because its the socially acceptable thing to do, like talking about how hard it is to get out of bed when its raining. i usually dont know its raining until i am out of bed. i watch a lot of law and order, NOT CSI, and i think i am a lawyer sometimes because of it. maybe not a lawyer, but i think i am have a good handle on the law. chances are i absolutely do not have any handle on the law. but i like to think that i do. it makes me feel smart. i also impress people with my ability to call out whos the murderer at the beginning of the episode. this is no skill, i have seen just about every criminal intent, and special victim's unit law and order. they can't make them fast enough.

my dad kills the chipmunks in his yard by filling an industrial bucket half way with water and then floating sunflower seeds on the top. and then puts a stick up against the bucket. the chipmunks run up the stick and fall in the water and can't get out so they drown. did i already blog about this? anways he came home one day and he had killed 10 chipmunks. i can't believe that. but my favorite part is that my dad can't remember if he read about the plan somehwere or if he dreamed it up.
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

boys, do not read this.

i am serious, don't read it. and i know now you are more tempted than ever, but for serious. stop.

so i got my period today at work. (i told you to stop.) and i had a tampon with me!!! yay! (if you are a boy and stupidly still reading this you wouldn't understand the joy) i didnt have to ask anyone around the office, i didn't have to find change for the machine, i don't have to bleed all over my pants, and be worried that maybe i stained the chair. i can comfortably walk around assured that my leakage is taken care off. i feel grown up.

i also put my social security card in my passport, and then put them in my desk drawer in a secure place. isn't that insanely responsible?

AND i have been watching janet jackson videos on youtube all day at work.

here ill show you:

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

i have no desire to actually work today

i think flavor flav should marry jessice simpson. that would be a reality show for the history books. but hopefully reality shows wouldn't be in the history books. yesterday i flipping channels and saw the conclusion of big brother. it was funny because i really couldnt give a shit, but i am sure there are people out there who care.
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Monday, September 11, 2006

dear rich,
i am so that i haven't been a good blogger lately. i have been doing some blog research by reading other people's blogs, thus negelecting my own. but after the first phase of my research i have come to realize that i, infact, enjoy talking about myself than reading other about others. so i will promise to be a more consistent and reliable blogger.

also. i am sick. and just right now at work everyone stood around me. but not too close to tell me how shitty i look and i how i should go home. but we are really busy.

i haven't done laundry in so long.

i am broke.

and i just pulled a huge booger out of my nose.

but if you think your life is crappy you should watch "intervention" on a&e. i cried my eyes out yesterday. and then watched another episode ondemand in some weird demonic decision. that show is heartbreaking. but you know, hey, i am not addicted to herion, and i don't have a little kid support. all i have is laundry and big boogers. i think i am going to be alright.
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Friday, September 08, 2006

topaz show

emmy and i had our first set at topaz. i would say that it was one of our weaker sets. but people seemed to like it. but i dont think people expect much when they see us. we are doing topaz again next week. curt shackleford who puts on the show says there is going to be a talent scout. i don't really know what that means. but i get a free drink coupon. you know what's fun? daydreaming.

i daydream constantly. and sometimes i am having a really good daydream, you know about boys or finding just the right shade of nail polish, and then reality breaks in, and then i can't remember what i was daydreaming about. one time when i was younger i was daydreaming and my mom caught me and asked me what i was smiling about. i think i got kinda embarassed.

i also talk to myself in the mirror. like i am being interviewed. and i will talk about what i did that day. and then when the audience would laugh at my anecdote i smile and wave my hand as to say "no big thing happens all the time, my life is just that interesting."

what this tells me is that, in fact, my real life could use a little spice.
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