Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Full of Love

Hello Beautiful World,
I am full of love this morning. Silly sloopy love. First, for commenter HG, who although maybe borders on creepy with the personal email address, made me feel absolutely wonderful about myself. Sincerely wonderful, don't ever change or stop being the wonderful Tollbooth read you are! Also, my cousin who I won't name out of respect for his google-worthiness, said that I was wonderful and great, which really isn't true, he said that he liked my blog, but it made me feel beautiful and unique.

Also, I am sitting on a big rubber ball thing at work instead of my chair, and that makes me feel gorgeous and fun, and completely unfocused on work! YAY!


I didn't even get upset when the color copier got jammed and I got ink all over my hands.

It's fun coming up with nice words. Hell yeah.

Painfully optimistic is what this state is called. Only because once the caffiene rush wears off and I realize I am hours behind in work I won't like any of this. And then I will go into the bathroom and cut myself. JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is great.

If someone with a degree in psychology read this blog they would diagnosis me as being bi-polar. BUT I DON'T CARE. I am happy and I know it and I am going to clap my hands!

Love and kisses and hugs and jubilant surprises of kittens and rainbows and sugary cereal like fruity pebbles!

I don't ever what this blog to end I love it so much!
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Monday, May 21, 2007

I made a mistake

When I first started at this job, I didn't know how to send Outlook meeting requests out. When I learned I was over joyed. And I sent out a whole bunch of meeting requests because it was new and interesting, something I had never done before. Well, now everyone thinks that I really really love sending out meeting requests, so they are always asking me to send them out for them. Meetings that I have nothing to do with, and they think it makes me really happy, which in turn makes them happy. But I don't like doing them any more. They are annoying. But I think I have gotten myself into a situation that I cannot get out of. I will forever be the girl who likes to send out meeting requests, so if you have some, give them to her, because she loves it.

Also, I think my improv teacher hates me. And I don't know why. I don't think I have ever been mean to him or mean to someone else. My only conclusion is that I don't laugh very easily, so I don't laugh or smile much in class. So maybe he thinks I am having a bad time. I will try to smile more. Then he will like me. I hope he doesn't read this.

I am not really worried about people at work reading this because their internet skills are limited. But improv people probably know how to use the computer better. Well, if he does read this, why don't you like me? I'll change. I'll be better. Just tell me what I have to do. Please.

Ok, happy mid-day lunch time. My bestest friends in the world are coming together next weekend and it will be beautiful. I am very excited.
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Friday, May 18, 2007

I am so so so sorry Greggles

But I have to. What Greg said to me this morning:

Gregory: OMG...
I always wondered if people use the paper toilet covers
and now I know why people use them
I just had the most explosive diahrea and it splashed literally on the toilet seat
I knew it was gonna be bad with all my heavy breathing
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Thursday, May 17, 2007


So I just "published" that last post about American Idol, only to see it nicely jutxaposing my Gilmore Girls blog. Um, awesome. I guess everyone has an affinity towards bad TV. I still feel right, and like somehow I can justify Gilmore Girls over American Idol, but in reality, I know they are both stupid.
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American Idol is stupid

It's really a beautiful day when you hear your boss who makes four times as much as you gush about her favorite American Idol candidate/player/singer/whore. And then go into a break down of who she thinks is more "American Idoly" and who is just more a of a r and b singer. And then after she spends more than enough time discussing it, she swoops in and buys lunch for 15 people. Seriously, it's wonderful.
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Gilmore Girls Finale

Ok, so the Gilmore Girls SERIES finale was last night. I didn't see it. But I was reading this synopsis at work and started crying:

I told you crying at work was hilarious.

Also, this might interest you like Kirk:

Ok. I just realized it feels really weird to have a blog named (JOKINGLY!) after a show that doesn't exist any more.

But not that weird.
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Missed Connections on Craigslist

I really really want to see one that is looking me. I want it so bad. In a weird desperate way. I guess it's not that surprising to want to be wanted. But sometimes the Missed Connections are mean, and I would even take one of those. Although, that might bring on another bout of crying in my cube. Then I have to decide whether I should continue to hide my excessive leisure internet activities or turn my screen so I can hide that I am crying.

Don't worry though. The crying is usually not important and almost always turns out to be hilarious. I am not sad, I promise, just oppressed and defeated.

That's all. See you later.
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

ten minutes until i can leave work

alright. ten minutes. we can get through this. really, we can. we have to. we don't have an option. we have already facebooked, myspaced, craiglisted, and now we are blogging. i am thinking about writing short stories. only because i don't think i can blog about work any more. it leaves us all depressed and unsatisfied. and we can't do that to each other. i mean besides you, anonymous inernet reader (who am i kidding? friends that coerce into reading this) what do we have? we have google chat, and many ways to look at people's drunk pictures. but what sort of outlet do we have to really express ourselves if it weren't for my poorly worded blogs and your freedom to comment? which i see very few of you, other than daniel, have taken advantage of.

but let's not get too meta. blogging about blogging about work blah blah blah. that's not who we are. we are revolutionaries. so let's put a silhoutte on a t-shirt and fight back! let's take back the internet, let's put something fresh out there to make us excited again! let's all quit our jobs and sit around and smoke pot and talk about how something somewhere is holding us back. and they need to be crushed. let's all take naps at 3 in the afternoon, so we can stay up later! let's do meth until our teeth fall out! let's chain ourselves to something that doesn't seem important to anyone else but us (ie. our sneakers)

seriously, only 2 more minutes. we can do this. we will blog our way through this swamp of not doing work and having to wait until 6 to leave.

it's 6:02. i had to help someone print something. awesome, right? that's what these fingers that spew out genius does at work. helps people select the right printer.

To you and those who went before you:
We sit here. And stare. We are medicore, but at least alive. We can forge ahead. We can do something meaningful after work, like watch THE SERIES FINALE OF GILMORE GIRLS not that I care. We can sleep and brush our teeth.

I have not lost hope, nor do I think I will. Is that insane? You read this and be the judge and jury of your destiny. Because I am a star burning in the pitch black of an empty souless non-profit half owned by the devil.

Forge on fellow internet person, forge on. For the end is only where we create it. They can never destroy us. We are infinite and bored. We are grumpy and sugar high. There are no answers, and we have come to terms with that.

Truthfully, sollenly, happily, cheerfully, hungrily, beautifully, hopefully, indignantly, seriously, sincerely, fondly, creatively, existently, joyfully, idiotfully, foreverfully yours,

karin louise hammerberg.

p.s. you better fucking believe its 6:15. who looks like a hard worker now?
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Thursday, May 10, 2007


Okey dokey, let's get it started in hur'. I have been drinking a lot of coffee at work lately and I am not really a coffee drinker. There have been multiple side effects ffrom drinkinging lots of coffee at work.
1. I have had to poop a lot (+)
2. I have been more wide wide awake (+)
3. My word per minute has in-increased (+)
4. My desire to take a nap around 11:30 am has also shot waaaaay up. (-)
5. I am more likely to stutter. (-)
6. I put sugary stuff in my coffee so I also get sugar high and giddy. (+)
7. While it seems productivity has gone up, infact i make a lots more typos. (-)
8. mY LIttle pinky finger jumps up to that "backspace key super deupery fast.
9. I crash doubly hard from the sugary high and the coffeity caffiney rush.
10. It makes my insides hurt, in kind of a burning way. (-)
11. Everyone else drinks coffee, so I kinda fit in, when I am not jogging to the bathroom and making groaing noises. (+,-)
12. I fart more. (-)
13. I am starting to get a headache if I don't drink cofffee, good thing I have th cure! (++++++).
14. It's different than before, which means its not the same which means that I can tell days apart by the number of coffee drinks I have had. Which is still pretty deperesssing, but at the same time, it's better than nothing right? (+,+,-,+,-,1235!)
15. I CAN NOW BETTER UNDERSTAND WHY JESSE WOULD FREAK OUT FROM TAKING CAFFINE PILLS. SHIT IT DANGEROS. (just had to get up to poop while writing this sentence.) ANYWAYS YEAH! WHATEVER I WAS SAYING BEFORE! (++++++!++!+!+!++!+!+!+!++!+!)
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Friday, May 04, 2007


You are a chore, sometimes, Blog. I mean I love you and all, but you just nag so much. "You haven't updated, you haven't updated. When are you going to update?" And sometimes, Blog, I don't have anything to say. I just don't feel like sharing my feelings. I just want to be alone. And is that ok with you? Never. You just take and take, Blog, but what do you give?

Alright fine.

People at my work are all hyped again today. It makes me mad.

I am tired.

Shut up, Blog! This could get interesting.

My boss bought me a banana. That was nice.

But the banana is disgusting and I already had one. This is going to be a horrible day and the cherry on top is the worst blog known to mankind. And I am going to make it really long, and as previously discussed we all know that long things are rarely funny.

So, at this point reader you have a choice. Stop reading now. Just end it here and walk away. Or you can stay with me on this magical journey of self destruction layered with pity and apathy.

I saw this guy a while ago drop his plastic newspaper bag on the street and it made me really mad. Last night I found out that he lives in my building and works at the same place, and is important. That was stupid. I told the same story to work people, and they loved it. But it means more to them.

I am thinking about getting some coffee. But I am already a fart machine and I feel like throwing acidy office coffee into the mix will just end in an explosion. But then maybe I can leave early.

More apathy more apathy. I don't care about you or anyone or anything ever.

More pity more pity. My life is seriously in the duldrums. That's a Phantom Toll Booth reference, which happens to be a fantastic book. Right now I am reading A Staggering Work of Annoyance wrapped in Ego Surrounded by something someone might consider Genius. Oh, and it's Heartbreaking. I am reading it with more apathy than I am currently blogging with, if you can imagine that.

Blog, I will throw you down the stairs in an attempt to kill our child if you don't shut up. I know this is awful. But I can do whatever I want.

I finished the banana.

I wish I had more to give. I honestly do, I wish I had a story or something, but really all I have to offer you is my little tired sense of humor exhausted from a week of monotiny and blandness.

Poopity fart abortion.
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