Today

Today I...
fuck it i'm going on facebook.

New saying!

I almost forgot. I have a new saying:
"Straight up, hands down."

It's like when you are super telling the truth about something.

Like "She is a whore, straight up hands down."
Or "I like pizza, a lot, straight up hands down."
Or "This meeting is pointless and we are all talking in straight up hands down circles."
Or "Would you like to get so drunk this weekend that you think calling your mom and telling her about the time you spelled 151 all over the bedspread she bought you is a good idea?"
"STRAIGHT UP, HANDS DOWN I WOULD"

Some notes

Spinning Instructor-
I don't think Madonna's "Time Goes by so Slowly" is a great choice for class.
-karin

Peyton Manning-
Thank you for commenting on my post about you. True, I am probably living in a fantasy world, but never the less I really appreciate it. There's no need for you to be anonymous.
-karin

Work-
Stop making things so confusing, and can we please stop having such long meetings. I thought my bladder was going to explode.
-karin

James Taylor (my hamster)-
Please stop cheewing on your cage so loudly at night. I keep thinking there is a prowler in the house.
-karin

James Taylor (the genius musician)-
Thank you for being.
-karin

President's Day-
Thank you for giving me the day off. I watched Gilmore Girls at 5. It was a beautiful day.
-karin

Urinary Tract-
Please stop getting infected.
-karin

"Dogs with Jobs"
Thank you for being the best TV show ever.
-karin

Top Design-
I want so much to care. But I am losing interest. Please be better.
-karin

Clothes on my floor-
If you could start putting yourself away I think it would make it a more harmonious living situation with Boyfriend.
-karin

Prank calls-
Thank you for continuing to be extra hilarious all the time. I thought maybe I left you behind in junior high, but no, you have come back time and time again to light up my life.
-karin

Family-
Thank you for not telling my Older Brother was in a car accident. You know, I agree. I don't think that is important news the whole family should know. In fact, everyone should probably know about it but me.
-karin

New Diet

I am on a new diet, its called "I Lost My Wallet when I was Drunk." It's super effective. I have to bring whatever I am going to eat at work from home. But since I didn't plan ahead at all, there are very few portable items at my house. So I am bringing big tubs of cottage cheese and like tomato sauce from my house. But since its too embarassing I just won't bring anything. It's genius. And all I have to do is wait half a year for the DMV is send me a new lisence, so drinking will be out for a while. It's going to be great, plus a little sad. And I will just end up mooching off my friends, and Boyfriend. And eating shitty candy that people are bringing in for V-Day.

A Letter

Dear Valentine's Day,
Congratulations. You have succeded as a holiday. Why? Because you have wormed your way into the heart of the weak minded and the competitive, and it just so happens that women are both. You have made people doubt and question their relationships based on the gifts they receive. And you have set up a sort of competition for the best/most extravagent gift. You have made people send flowers to offices, where there shouldn't be anything living remotely close to the shit hole we spend our days in. You make us buy chocolate for people, who trust me, DO NOT NEED ANY MORE CHOCOLATE. But most of all, Valetine's Day, you have flooded CVS with crap, which doesn't mean much because Easter does too, but all I want are some Q-tips. But I can't fucking find them because you need 14 aisles of red crap and stuffed animals. What are you going to do with all those stupid stuffed animals? I don't want that laying around my house, I'm not 4. But if I get one then its a gift and I can't throw it away, and that's the worst. Although, you have one repreive, I really like those giant cards. I don't want one, and I am not going to buy one for someone else. But in general I think oversized things are funny.

In conclusion, BOYFRIEND, I will be hurt an disappointed if you don't get my anything. I don't want to feel like that, but as every girl at my office gets flowers sent to her desk, at every squeal of delight I hear on Wednesday, the worse I will feel until I get something overpriced too. I am weak minded and competitive. And I like diamonds.

Lots of LUV,
karin louise

Nothing new

I saw some stand up last night. It was beautiful, I mean just stunningly gorgeous stand up. That's not true. But Chris Singel did win and is going to the finals, which is good, because he has been doing stand up for a long time and just really sucked for a long time. So, he kissed a little ass and won. He's also an alcoholic, which wouldn't be that funny, but chances are I peer pressured him into being one, and that's kind of funny.

It's not. But I have very little to work with right now. I bet next week I will have more.

I charged my phone at work today. It's now completely charged. So, that's cool.

I have decided to leave some chap stick at my desk, rather than bringing some from home everyday and then taking it home with me. It's been pretty convienient.

I used the label machine. That was semi-fun.

It's been freezing cold here. And I don't care.

I think I am going to be a name dropper. But fake names. Just make up names and then say them pretensiously. Because I think pretensious people are funny. I don't know how you live your whole life trying so hard. But they don't even realize that, they spend so much time thinking about themselves, yet they never actually realize who they are. See, that's not like set'em up knock'em down funny. But it's funny to think about it. And being pretensious about pretensious people is funny because its really just me making fun of myself. See? And it comedy you do call backs, and that is like a complicated complete circle, which is kind of like a callback, so it's funny too.

Anyways, have you ever heard of Frank DeGestion. He's this AMAZING painter from the 30's. His work is so insightful. No one knows who he is unless you have read Grape Readers, which is written by Joelle Frinstein. Grape Readers mentions Frank DeGestion, it was written in the 19th century or something. And a little known fact is that Grape Readers is based on Nanette Gostelston's life because she was having an affair with Joelle Frinstein. CRAZINESS.

I know a lot of people are having bad weeks. Shitty stuff has happened all across the board.I am thinking about you, and everything will be ok. Except for one person, and you know who you are, shitty stuff will continue to happen to you because you are shitty.