Popcorn

Like popcorn? Well I LOVE IT!

I have been incredibly fortunate in my career path to have worked two places that supply free popcorn. It's

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this blog is boring.

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And in conclusion, the GE Profile Spacemaker XL1800 microwave makes incredible popcorn every time. No burning, and very few seeds left un-popped.


(sorry about this one)

FIRST TIME IN HISTORY:

BOSS FINDS BLOG, EMPLOYEE NOT FIRED

Washington, DC- History was made today when Jeff Saunders found his employee's blog and decided to keep her on staff. While, Karen Hamburger's blog is mainly narcissistic observations about her own life, she does mention her work place from time to time. Although, she usually gets the most hits when she writes about Peyton Manning, or Star Wars (keyword searches).
Fellow employee, Pat [redacted], thought for sure she would be fired, "I saw her go upstairs, and I thought that was the end for her. Seriously, I am surprised that she is still here. Although, she always gets my lunch order right, so I guess it's cool." When "gilmore gurlz" tried to reach Hamburger for comment she couldn't be found, although we did hear sounds of vomiting from a nearby bathroom. So, we figured she was going through alternate stages of shock and relief. The news of this momentous moment has spread quickly across the world wide web. Judy Forleen from www.ihopemybossdies.com said that Saunders' choice to not fire Hamburger has given hope to bloggers everywhere. Forleen states, "Now I finally have the confidence to send my boss a link to my site. For so long I have been hiding it and only using her initials when I reference my satanic boss, but I think it's high time I start using real names and places." [Ed. note: gilmore gurlz does not encourage this practice]

Aside: Who took the scissors off my desk?

Super aside: I spelled "scissors" so wrong that these were the spelling options I got: Fransisco, discord, succors, and Fransisco's. And I am not even sure if I got it right now, but there's no red underline. I think spell check may have just given up on me.

I don't know how I got here

I have started doing something terrible. And I don't know how to stop.

It affecting my family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

I do it multiple times a day, and I am so very ashamed.

"the thumbs up"

I have been giving thumbs up like every time I do it I send a pound of rice to Africa. I don't know how it started, or where I picked it up. It is probably the cheesiest hand sign next to "the okay." And I CAN'T STOP IT.

It's so addictive, but it's soooo easy. How else can you quickly show affirmation without talking? Oh, nodding your head. I just thought of that. Damn.

ALSO! Shows.

I have improv shows this weekend, well today, and Saturday.

Tonight: Vic Speedboat, 8pm Flashpoint Theater. LINK! http://www.washingtonimprovtheater.com/shows/vicspeedboat.htm

Saturday: Caveat, 8pm Flashpoint Theater. LINK!
http://www.washingtonimprovtheater.com/shows/caveat.htm

Debatable

It has come to my (stat counter's) attention. That someone with the same IP address as me has been reading my blog. And this means that either someone is stealing our wireless at work, OOOOOOOOOR someone from work has found my humble little blog.

Welcome! Let me start off by saying, that I tell jokes. Sometimes fictional, sometimes true, always exaggerated, yeah even the fictional stuff I exaggerate, weird. (I am sorry if this is ruining it for some other readers (aka Boyfriend and Chris)).

First, when I figured out that you (no need to name names, there are only a few to chose from) were reading my blog. I got nervous because clearly, sometimes I blog about work, and sometimes I blog while at work.

But, I can also see how many times you have checked my blog, and how many different pages you have been to...... I guess you also sometimes have a free moment here and there.

Anywho, take a look around (although I don't think there is much you haven't already seen) and enjoy. I usually update every few days. Most posts are incredibly self absorbed. Always fun, though.

See you around.

Pictures (and a promotion)

So, Washington Improv Theater is having a fund raiser party thing, which will be awesomer. (oh! you want to go, easy awesome party thing)

And involved in this awesome party thing is an auction of sorts where people auction off their skills or.... I don't really know how to explain it. Anyways, see below for what Jenny and I are auctioning.

Auction #1:
Place your children in good hands! Jenny Huftalen and Karin Hammerberg offer their combined baby-sitting expertise. They will care for up to 6 children all ages for one night. Included: playtime of all varieties and an improvised bedtime story. They are also willing to eat whatever you want to rid your refrigerator of. They guarantee that your kids will be in safe hands and that they will laugh at least once.


Auction #2:
Vermonster - A monster of a sundae - 20 scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, banana, cookies, brownies, and all of your favorite toppings.

Intrigued? Well Karin and Jenny are more than intrigued, they are hungry. Two healthy, lactose tolerant gals will help you conquer Ben and Jerry's legendary Vermonster. You bring the desire for greatness and we'll bring the ice cream, spoons and personalized vomit bags.


ALSO! I learned how to link today, can you tell? Pictures and links?!?! I know, it's almost too high tech. Don't worry I won't post for a month to make up for it.

Bonus failed picture:

Dear Peyton Manning (reprisal of the reprise),

So, Peyton, turns out we have a little something in common. ENFJness. Yeah, that's right our Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judgingness.

According to this website: http://typelogic.com/enfj.html you are an ENFJ, and guess what!?!?! ME TOO!

It says we put other people ahead of ourselves, and, Peyton, I would put you ahead of myself any day. And it says we are sensitive and can get hurt by people, but Peyton I am sensitive, and I would never do anything to hurt you (besides wishing that your wife gets cancer, but, as you know, that's only so we can be together).

Anyways, I just wanted to say hi. I haven't written in a while and that's only because it's baseball season and I devote most of my pro-athlete worship to Nomar Garciaparra, BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE I LIKE SAYING HIS NAME! You are still totally first, with Ben Roethlisberger at number 2 because he seems like he would give good hugs.

So in conclusion, therefore, thusly, it is clear Peyton that we are meant to be together because we are ENFJ's. Although, that means I am meant to be with Abraham Lincoln, Oprah, and Kristie Alley.

Love forever <3 style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Not to brag...

But! I am probably the best free hand DVD label placer-oner ever.

Three Sweet Hours

My life reached it's pinnacle on Friday night for three hours. In which I saw James Taylor live. I sat in between my parents, and cried for most of the performance.

I could tell that he was signing just to me, and also my parents, and also Little Brother and Boyfriend who were sitting on the lawn.

I should have written down his set list, so I can re-read it before I go to bed, but I was too enamored.

JT didn't play "fire and rain" but I think he knew that I was already so emotional that if he played it I would go over the edge and poo my pants.

I think Dad's favorite part was that Blue Lou from the Blues Brothers was in JT's band.

I think Boyfriend's favorite part was the sandwiches Mom made.

I think Mom's favorite part was giving Boyfriend more sandwiches.

I think Little Brother's favorite part was driving his drunk crying sister home.

MY FAVORITE PART WAS ALL OF IT!

New Job Update Update

- We are currently watching the Oprah show on a projector that's playing on the wall. It's huge, probably like five feet across. I have never watched this much Oprah show in a row. It's kind of stupid. But there are weather updates, and we gotta stay on top of it.

- This guy at work is quitting smoking, so yesterday he asked if he could watch me smoke a cigarette.... it was weird.

- Wednesday is free lunch day, and it takes up a good amount of my time organizing everyone's order. BUT! Today I had real work to do, which included some writing. I have never been so excited to work.

- It's still cold.

Alright, let's see how this goes

Okay, I am going to try something new. I am going to write about something relevant, rather than drivel about my own life. STAY WITH ME.

Wii Fit. It's a video game where you stand on this thing, and do exercises on it. Also, you will be able to skateboard and snowboard on it. On a board. Like how you exercise, or skateboard, or snowboard in real life. Just not outside. I don't think I get it. Is the draw just that you get to watch a figure that looks like you on the screen do stuff that you are doing in real life. And really, where does real life end and video game start? You are actually working out, but it's twice as important because it's in two different realms?

I envision that people will have mini half pipes hooked up to the Wii so they can do skateboard tricks. And everyone will talk about how realistic the graphics look, but they will be missing the point that they can do these things in real life. Also, real guns.

ME:
The air conditioning gets too cold at my office, and they tell me I should just open the windows. But that seems close to the most retarded solution possible. I feel like as soon as I did it my mom would appear and ground me.