KATE!

I don't usually respond to comments, but I JUST finished eating popcorn. And it was really wonderful. And usually at work when I make popcorn everyone comes over to my cube and eats it. And although I like the attention, I like popcorn more.

It is my favorite food, by far.

Mechanical Pencils

At my office we can order whatever we want from Staples. Most people go for those really expensive computer screen things that prevents other people from seeing what you are doing. And granted I could probably use that because I spend a good amount of time shitting around on the internet. But what I really like from Staples is mechanical pencils. Here is just a small sample of pencils to choose from:



This is a cheap mechanical pencil. Lots of lead breakage, so so eraser. Would be a possible purchse if you were spending your own money. In this case, I am not, so we can just skip right over this one.






This is a step above the cheapest. I personally don't like the texture of the stem of the pencil. The eraser on is still not great. And to be honest, I like something a little more expensive, but that's my personal taste. This is a great started pencil.







This is a uber artsy pencil. The good thing about this pencil is that it's hard for people to steal because its so distinct. I don't like my pencils out doing me, which is one reason I would pass. Another is that I don't actually enjoy too wide of a grip.










These pencils are nice. They are light for their size, their grips are plump. However, the lead extends by twisting them. Now that's just annoying.







Now we are getting into some real fancy pencils. These babies cost like $6 or $7 each. Unless you are an i-banker I suggest you stay away, your office will not be happy with you if you are ordering 6 or 7 dollar pens willie nillie. And for what it's worth the grip on these aren't great. And just look at that eraser, pathetic!







This beaut, right here, it costs $24. There's no way we can have. There's just no way. But that's what goals are for.








Now, this is actually what I have gone with in the past, and I have really enjoyed it. It's BIC, which is a nice solid brand, nothing to flashy but has a good history of strong well made products. The grip is small but effective. Lead breakage is down unless of course you don't know how to use a mechanical pencil and you shoot the lead out too far, but then it would break on any pencil. It is not too wide, but still has a good solid heft to it. I also really enjoy the eraser cap. True, most people would find this annoying, but for me it prevents squishing the eraser in too much when extending the lead. And when I lose the cap the pencil is ruined and I get to take it home. It's a little system I have set up.



This post took like half an hour.

Today

I have spent most of today browsing mechanical pencils on Staples.com. There are 97 to choose from.

Spam Commenters

I wonder how spam commenters find blogs to spam. Do they just have some sort of computerized system that has a program to add comments?

I would like to think they pay people like telemarketers to sit at their computers and hand choose websites they think would have their target market. Clearly they would go to really popular blogs and spam, but that's a given. But maybe some go to lesser known blogs in the hope that it will one day blow up. And that they see mine with a TV show spelled wrong and some spammarketer out there thought, "this blog, this blog has the readership that not only would they like to partake in some live webcam action, but they would also like some drugs." Which is what I think the latest spam comment is for, but honestly its drugs I have never heard of, and believe you me, I am not that square.

I would just like to thank you spammarketer for thinking my blog is something special, for thinking, hey I bet her friends and family would like to do illegal stuff on the internet and get their credit card numbers stolen. I appreciate it. Have a joyous day.

Milestones

Well I have reached a big step in my blogging hobby. I am getting comments advertising porn sites. I think that means I've made it. They wouldn't advertise on a site that gets 0-15 hits, would they? NO! They want a site that gets at least 16-18 hits a day! And that my friends is this wonderful thing you and I have created together. A mediocore blog that will now be found my horny guys looking to watch live girls do sexy stuff to themselves and other people. I could delete this comment, but I am kind of excited to see if my hits go up. And I don't mess with comments, like some bloggers who feel they have to respond to each and every comment. Especially because sometimes the mean ones are just from my little brother.

I am an emailing machine. Seriously. I have probably sent 100 emails today.

Show at the Hyatt

The joyous Kurt Shackleford hosted us at the Bethesda Hyatt on Saturday. The audience was, well, they showed up and there was a lot of them. They laughed a little. I don't know... two 20 year old girls pretending to be 14ish and twins is pretty hard to get on board with at a stand up venue I guess. I don't care. I did get to see a comedian I really like. I would say his name, but then it would show up in a google search and then he could find it and then he could read this and then I would be ambarrissado.

I don't know how to spell that but "embarrisado" means preggers in Spanish. It's probably my favorite false cognate ever. I say it a lot especially around my mom. It's clear that it wears her down.

How interesting to think how that word has translated. Embarrassed verse embarissado.

I want movie theater pop corn.

Also.

Do not do a full tights/panty hose/hosiery adjustment in the break room. You may think you are alone, but people can walk in there whenever they want and you will have you skirt up and be wiggling around.

Just don't do it.

Escalade

This morning I was walking to work and it was pretty cold out, well really cold out. And I saw this huge Escalade. And my first thought was I wonder if they have good food in there. I saw a really nice car, that was most likely warm inside, and I thought about whether or not they had good food in there. There was NO indication there was even food in the car. Granted, I am pretty hungry, but at the time I was much colder than I was hungry. I think there is something wrong in my brain. OH MY GOD. What if I am obese? And I just haven't found the time to eat as much as I really want? Because I have to work and don't have very much money so I can't fuel the hungry giant inside of me. Thinking like this actually makes me feel skinner because I could be really really fat if I let my subconscience rule my life. This is life changing. Sorta. Nothing is really life changing. Even if you win a million dollars you are still your sucky self, just with more money. You and your mom won't have a better relationship.

I am being negative. I need to shake it off. I am just super pissed about Top Chef last night.

I am whiny. My thoughts right now are whiny and they are annoying inside my head. They are all high pitched and selfish.

I want to see how long I can go today without talking to anyone.

Work

I am at work. You didn't concentrate hard enough. Thanks a lot.

However, you all did focus your efforts on getting the Bears and the Colts to the Superbowl. Those are my two favorite teams. Why? Because I grew up in Chicago, and because Peyton Manning is redefining what it means to be a quarterback and team leader.

We are going to get married. Even though I wouldn't want him to divorce his wife because that would taint my image of him. It's a complicated predicament. She's going to have to get cancer and die. And then Peyton will miss her a lot, and then I will walk into his life at the right time. But we won't get a long at first, but then we will accidently start emailing each other under fake names, and our dogs will fall in love, and I have his dead wife's heart. And then we will get married. And I will not only be married to the awesomest quarterback I will also be extraordinarily rich. And I can tell him not to make those Gatorade commercials with all the latex stuff because no one can take that shit sreiously.

Anyways I am at work.

No work tomorrow!

It is sleeting/snowing in DC right now. If the federal government closes I don't have work. It doesn't take much to close down the Fed. I made this song called "No work tomorrow." And it should be sung to the Beastie Boys song, "No sleep til Brooklyn." I think if enough people concentrate about it snowing more and freezing.

NO WORK TOMORROW!

This is the federal government website: HERE

Let's keep hope alive.

I am thinking about getting super drunk in anticipation. I know it's stupid. I am fully aware of how stupid it is. But I think if I show a little faith than I will be redeemed in the end.

forced.

i am at work.
i had a meeting.
i have a lot of work to do.
i have not updated in a long time.

i wish i looked on the internet more so i could give you links. or had a funny video to give you. but i know none of these things.

angelo took headshots of me on friday. headshots to me sounds like potshots. so when i hear it i just think of getting hit in the head by a hockey stick. even though potshots doesn't really have that much to do with being hit by a hockey stick. but it does mean taking easy shots on people. so its like i go and sit in the dark and angelo is behind a camera, and then a bright flash goes off and he hits me in the head. those would be funny pictures.

i saw some comedy friday. it was super. i laughed. which is cool because usually i don't laugh, i just belittle.

i went skiing with my family. it was fun. it was icy. which actually wasn't fun. i saw a parade where everyone my age was drinking and in the parade. and i was yelling/begging for candy. i would have been embarassed but the whole time i knew i was cool because i was wearing big sunglasses.

i'm in a bad mood. and i don't care. i'll bad mood all over you. and i will bring you down into my bad mood. and usually that would make me feel better, but not today. today i will out bad mood the bad mood i put you in. so watch it.

i have a burp stuck in my throat.

and i hate you.

Lunch

I brought chili from home today for my lunch. And I went over to the little kitchenette and heated it up in the microwave. And I was careful to put the lid a little askew. And as I was walking back with my hot plastic the lid fell back on right ways. And the lid begins to invert. I think in my head, "I hope this doesn't backfire on me." And then the lid flies off I throw the bowl away from me spilling chili in, oh I would say about a three, three and a half foot spray. I scramble around picking up all the beans from the floor in pure panic. I get everything up but there is still a huge red stain in front of someone else's cubicle. People start noticing and teasing. I NO JOKE start crying. It was my lunch and now I don't have one.

Maintenance has come by and cleaned it up a little. It's pretty good.

And then I had this brilliant google chat with Greg. And I feel all better.

Gregory: Karin, YOU NEED TO EAT
Sent at 2:06 PM on Friday
me: i ate some candy
Gregory: CANDY IS NOT ENOUGH
I am worried
me: its one lunch greggles
Gregory: lunch is important

I'm out all next week. Don't look for me.

You know what bothers me? People who beg for comments on their pictures and crap on myspace. It seems bizarre. Whatevs. You are beautiful and wonderful and you probably didn't spill chili all over your office. But chances are you don't have the "go get'ems" like I do. And that will get me far in life, and you will be stuck reading blogs. I am JUST KIDDING! I AM SO SORRY! I take that back. You are beautiful and wonderul.

Common New Years Resolutions

So I feel that my New Years resolutions are pretty common:

1. Save money.
I am going to do this by not spending any money ever and only putting money into a high interest money market account. Now the plan I have doesn't include food, and barely scraping by on rent. But I figure that's pretty much what I am doing now. Oh and I am going to use the liquor store bank, and instead of a high interest money market account I'll get cheap wine.

2. Lose weight
Now I am doing this full out. Going to the gym all the time, working out really hard. I'm not curbing what I am eating at all, but I am going into the sauna before I weigh myself. You know, so I am not weighing all the pesky water wieght that make you seem so hydrated. BUT note that the sauna door pulls in rather than pushes out and you should try both options before you panic and start pounding on the door.

3. Keep in touch
Clearly, I am just referring everyone to my blog, it's the best way for them to know what's going on with me. And they can always comment or something to tell me about their droll lives.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. 2007 is going to rock the ass off 2006. Although 2008 will be really bad and there's a chance of death. So live it up now kids.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I apologize

Wow, have I been a dead beat blogger. I was at work all last week and I just didn't feel like blogging. I don't know what came over me. Here's what you missed....

CHRISTMAS
I spilled make-up all over my boyfriend's parent's bathroom. I kept thinking that I was on candid camera, only to remember that I spilled it by myself. It took my like 30 minutes to clean up. They think I have serious bowel troubles.

FACT
Blowing your nose is a wonderful activity to combine with pooping.

NEW YEARS
Drunktown (what's new).

WORK
Deadtown. Working the week between Christmas and New Years is a great reminder that you are a peon.

WEDDING
Didn't catch the bouquette, don't want to talk about it. YAY cousin and cousin's wife. You are wonderful gracious people, (I am sorry (for everything I may or may not have done)).

REALIZATIONS
I read Money magazine. It has changed my life. Seriously, I am going to be an investment queen. Don't think I am serious? Try this on for size. Yesterday at work instead of blogging (talking about myself) I read the difference between CDs and Money Market accounts.

REALIZATION
Airport workers can be kinda depressing but if you meet a smart one they can turn their miserable lives into larger tips. I fell for it.

REALIZATION
Small planes are scary.

FOOD
I like it.