niceness

it is important to say "you know what, i think you are right."

Lateness

Must be brief. Hour late for work. Behind on everything.

Man with cape on way to work i love you (see i am being brief and i still typed out "you", none of this internet speak here. the end is coming and you are all pawns in the demise of language. say what you mean, not what is easiest to type.) Brevity Brevity

Donuts at work. Bad for me. Still thinking about bringing in lard. Can't get fat, have wedding to go to.... don't want to be the fat cousin. Competition within family. Can't be fat can't be fat can't be fat.

Went to drunk town last night. Turned off alarm morning. Slept on couch no reason. HUNGRY. Christmas happy time soon.

Don't turn off alarm.

Don't bring donuts to office.

Wear capes.

Work work work.

HUNGRY.

(mayhaps i am still in drunk town)

GOOD NIGHT!

The name- Final Answer

When I was a senior in college (oh about 9 months ago) I used to get home from class around 5 o'clock. This is the exact time ABC Family channel would play reruns of the Gilmore Girls. As most people who watch TV at 5 o'clock know, there is not much on. It's too early for sitcom reruns, or any new programs. It's basically some stupid embarassing dating show on MTV, finding out the J Lo can get 48 million manicures with diamonds and still have enough money to buy Mexico and break into parts and sell those parts for a profit, Sandra Lee and Semi-Homemade on the cooking channel (keep is simple, keep it cute, and always keep it semi-homemade). OR the Gilmore Girls, needless to say I became an avid fan. I was caught up in the trials and tribulatios of Rory and Lorelai. Their break-ups, their make-ups, their quick talking wit, I was hooked.

And then, lo and behold, a friend of mine (TJ Miller, perhaps less friends than someone I look up to and he forgets I exist, but we'll say friends for the sake of my diginity) blogs about how he auditioned for a part on the Gilmore Girls (I believe the part was Paris's boyfriend, which PS he is totally wrong for). I was through the roof. I created the user name Iluvgilmoregirls to leave a comment. And then I started working at this doctor's office doing data entry and falling asleep a lot. And I thought, "hey, why don't I start writing my inner most thoughts on the internet for people to judge and then leave mean comments about? And I couldn't think of any reason why not." Thus "i <3 gilmore gurlz" was created.

Things I regret about the title of the blog:
1. Spelling girls as gurlz, at the time I thought I was a genius, now I find that even my friends have a hard time finding the blog
2. That people may think this blog is about the Gilmore Girls. It's not. I don't ever watch that show any more not that I am a big grown up girl who works until 6 or 7 or 8 or 8:30.

Reasons I love the title:
1. I LOVE THE GILMORE GIRLS!!!! i <3 gilmore gurlz. I LUV LUV LUV THEM!!!!

presents

Usually I am all "the more presents for me the better, give give give. this doesn't look that expensive, can you say re-gift?" but lately at the office I received TOO MANY presents. Now, some like little chocolate bottles filled with vodka are cool, and wine=cool. But now I am starting to get hand lotion and stickers. And while the thought is beautiful. I really really super do not need this crap in my house. I compulsively complusive shop. I buy whatever is in the aisle on the way to the register. I already own enough key chains, mini flashlights, hair things, batteries, gum. I don't need you to do this. Seriously, office people, no more crap.

And of course I feel obliged to get something for everyone else, and that's a really shitty feeling to have. I think I am going to bake brownies no one will eat because everyone is trying to excersize self control. But the last time I tried to bake brownies they turned into bricks with a high trans fat count.

It would be funny just to bring in lard and butter, and be like "i'm just cutting to the point." Just a huge tub of lard and put it on the community table, next to chocolate covered everythings. And maybe an ice cream scoop.

Offices are boring places.

Decision

I have decided that to get more hits on my blog I will start writing about celebrities. Is it too late for me voice an opinion about this Michael Richards thing? Or has that pretty much been covered? How about Britney Spears showing her VJ around? Did you guys know she had a baby? Terrible mother, am I right?

I think I actually over-cheesed my chili. I didn't think there was such a thing as over-cheesing something. But I have done it. It's all cheese stringy which is getting all over my chin. Very professional.

Tampons

The tampon machine at work is broken, and it keeps spitting on the dime along with a tampon. I seriously got like 7 or 8 free tampons. And I have been trying to convince myself that I'm not stealing, but I really can't come up with anything good, other than that I need them. And maybe they want us to have free tampons. That would be nice wouldn't it?

Some woman from my office just gave me a really nice bottle of wine.

I feel like an asshole a lot.

I am stealing tampons, and she is buying people fancy wine.

Alright.

Well as a little redemption I left the dime on top of the machine, so if someone else needs it. They can steal from the company too.

it would be awesomer if today was friday.

Party Stats

MENU
Salad with crasins, bleu cheese, walnuts, and apple
Mushroom soup
Dijon honey ham
Lemon zest green beans
Brussel sprouts
Mashed potatos
Cookies
Cake

NUMBER OF GUESTS TOTAL: 15

LARGEST NUMBER AT ONE TIME: 12

FIRST GUEST ARRIVAL: 8ish

LAST GUEST ARRIVAL: 12ish

FIRST GUEST TO LEAVE: 11ish

TIME I WENT TO BED AND MADE ASA MAKE EVERYONE LEAVE: 1ish

NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO PLAYED BEER BONG IN MY HALLWAY WITH PEOPLE FROM THE BUILDING CHRISTMAS PARTY: 3

NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE EARLY FLIGHTS TODAY: 2

BOTTLES OF WINE: A MILLION (SERIOUSLY A LOT)

NUMBER OF MY LITTLE BROTHERS THAT I FORCED TO COME: 1

HOURS IT TOOK TO PREPARE: 9

HOURS TO CLEAN UP: i have zero intentions of cleaning

NUMBER OF PUPPIES: 1

NUMBER OF TIMES THE PUPPY MEANT MY HAMSTER (james taylor): 1 until i said stop it. i was really worried the puppy would eat the hamster, and it was acting all nice, but it could have been trying to ease us into a state of content, and then WHAM, one gulp, and james taylor could have been gone forever

NUMBER OF TIMES WE LOCKED THE PUPPY IN THE BATHROOM FOR BEING BAD: 1

AMOUNTS OF BUTTER THE PUPPY ATE: eh i'd say about four or five good puppy bites

CUTENESS OF PUPPY: through the roof

AMOUNT OF FUN: it's hard to say for sure, but i would say LOTS as a general estimate.

Yesterday

Yesterday I was so tired I could barely move. I made it to work, but my level of usefulness was way down. I couldn't open my eyes all the way, which made reading emails hard. I had lost my voice so I couldn't speak. And I couldn't hold my own head up. I couldn't believe I was able to be awake and be so tired. I ended up just watching a lot of TV.

So I went to bed at 8:30. Because I really couldn't stay awake any later. So that means I got about 11 and half hours of sleep. That's a lot of sleep. But apparently I over slept. Which means I go too much sleep. And now I am still kinda tired. WHAT?! I should be busting with energy.

What do people eat for Christmas dinner? Besides turkey, because I am already making ham. I am having Christmas dinner tomorrow night. You can come, it will be really nice. Although I don't have much silver ware or plates, so bring your own.

Thank you so much you have been wonderful and gooey on the inside.

A few more wedding pictures

My lovely wonderful brothers. I am still pretty pumped about the bouquet.




This is when my mom RE-INSTATED the one dollar for every picture you ruin rule, which I don't think is really fair with digital cameras.

Open Bar Wedding

I don't know where my lips went. But I guess I traded them for "being the next one to get married."

Pizza Disaster

So, on Friday Asa and I got super duper drunk, for no reason. We went to the HOP (holiday office party), which was interesting. I think it's always good to bring a friend to one of those because then you can tell people that your friend feels uncomfortable and that's why you don't want to continue getting sloshed with your co-workers, not because you don't really want to see them topless (male or female).

Anyways after the HOP we got smashed. And I forced Asa to go to the 24 hour CVS with me to get pizza. I don't know why we didn't order, or what. Get home, turn the oven to 400, put in the pizza. And IMMEDIATELY fall asleep. At like 7 in the morning we wake up on the couch with smoke filling our apartment. Asa turns off the oven I tell him not to open it because it will just let more smoke out. He tries to get me to come to bed. I physically can't move, it was probably a combination of smoke inhalation and drunkness, but there was no way. I tried to go to bed a couple hours later, but my foot was asleep so I just got up, sprained my ankle, sat back down on the couch.

Around 2 in the afternoon I finally open the oven to see that the pizza was put in WITH THE CARDBOARD.

It is an absolute miracle that we didn't start a fire and/or die. I mean leaving a pizza at 400 for three or four hours WITH THE FUCKING CARDBOARD. I know everyone has stories like this, but does your apartment smell like smoke and Christmas tree? (That's right I have a Christmas tree and it rocks.)

Work is hard, I am thinking about not going ever again.

Special Saturday Shout Out

I want to specially mention a very special commenter to me, and that is Sacha's mom, "J. Evans." Now when I first learned that Sacha was encuoraging her mother to read my blog I was kind of taken aback (sometimes I can be a little...... I don't know..... abortion happy). But I really love Mrs. Evans, and I think she may be the only mother who reads my blog. SO SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO COMMENTER J. EVANS.

(And yes, because I am blogging that means I am at work on Saturday)

A story by Greggles

This is an email I received this morning from Greggles. A little backstory is that Greg's television was destroyed this year when his building was struck by lightning. He lives in a teeny tiny apartment.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Greggles. He worked very hard and this week was horrendously busy for the half black all loving man.

After work, he went home and to his surprise, what was awaiting the handsome and jovial boy.... A TELEVISION!!!
He was so excited. He hauled the huge box up 2 flights of stairs and placed it in his castle (small by comparison, but a castle nevertheless). This day couldn't get better for the young boy, but alas, he got a message that an end table was ready for pick-up.
(Sidenote: the young boy won a beautiful end table at an event he
attained the following week!)

Perfect, thought the young Greggles, it will be the new home for the television. So he walked a couple of blocks to pickup the table, said he Thank yous and took a cab back to his castle.

None of Greggles fellow followers were near the castle, so young Greggles carried the 60 pound end table up 2 flights of stairs to his personal lair in the palace. It was getting dark, so Greggles decided to turn the lights on, then plug in the television and watch perhaps Almost Famous on his Brand New Beautiful Silver TV.

He hit the light switch, and wait......

NOTHING HAPPENED. The boy began to panic, he did not have any light bulbs in the castle and he did not want to go out and get them.

But something worse was in store for the young Greggles... CON EDISON.

The evil CON EDISON decided to anger the young boy by turning off all of his electricity at the precise moment, when the young boy wanted it the MOST. The reason why CON EDISON was out to get the boy was because they young Greggles although living in a castle, did not have too much money and he owed "CON" money, for favors in the past.

To worsen the situation, CON EDISON did not just want the money young Greggles owed him, but he wanted an extra $200, just to turn back the power.

Young Greggles was distraught, and was like maybe I don't need electricity, so he lit some candles and starting watching a movie on his computer....but at the last 25 minutes the computer went into a state of "hibernation."

So the young Greggles became mad, angry, then sad and finally he came to the conclusion that electricity is important in life. So he asked for the help of his faithful and longtime Platonic companion, Joel.

This ends the installment of "Life after GW" please stayed tuned for part 2 coming to you probably tomorrow, when the young Greggles can go to work charge his computer and write for about 30 minutes before his battery dies!.

*The above story is based on true events.

Friday Morning Commenter Shout Outs!

So, the first shout out has to go the DANIEL, for writing my obituary. Before that he was also an avid commenter.

Next up is KATE. We went to high school together, HOLLER. She's really good about commenting, and letting me knows what important to her, playing 500 and playing the lotto to win.

There's always ASA. Who is currently google chatting me about what a large poop he took (he's going to get pissed at me about writing that). But let's really push it, here's a little tid bit of our conversation "I would say 2 and a half seconds after I heard the door close I freakin let loose." That's my man.

There is STEVE, who wants more personal information about me, which I will choose to take as a compliment. He also has a blog that is about computers.

There's SPF, Jeffy, who recently sprained his ankle in a fence jumping accident.

Of course, Lisi, my cousin who recently linked me to her blog so my Technorati score would go up.

Chris Singel, one of the only commenters that I have consistently used his first and last name. Chris also has a post written about him back when I first started blogging. I believe the title is something like, "I Hate Chris Singel." He's the worst.

OH! I almost forgot the anonymous commenter who corrected my spelling. I felt like that comment was a little cold. I think most anonymous comments are cold, but like Steve, I decided rather than taking it in a negative light I would stay positive.

I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head, and if I am forgetting you then you kind of deserve because your comments weren't that memorable. So there. Anyways thanks for commenting. You are kinda awesome. KINDA.

The HOP is tonight (Holiday Office Party). I cleaned my fannie extra good in the show today.